President Trump has issued three statements today on the ceasefire with Iran. Not surprisingly, they include many unsubstantiated claims. “A big day for World Peace! Iran wants it to happen, they’ve had enough! Likewise, so has everyone else!” he exclaimed in his first statement, issued at 12:01 AM ET. “The United States of America will be helping with the traffic buildup in the Strait of Hormuz. There will be lots of positive action! Big money will be made. Iran can start the reconstruction process. We’ll be loading up with supplies of all kinds, and just ‘hangin’ around’ in order to make sure that everything goes well. I feel confident that it will. Just like we are experiencing in the U.S., this could be the Golden Age of the Middle East!!”
“The United States will work closely with Iran, which we have determined has gone through what will be a very productive Regime Change!” he said in his second statement, issued at 7:22 am this morning. “There will be no enrichment of Uranium, and the United States will, working with Iran, dig up and remove all of the deeply buried (B-2 Bombers) Nuclear ‘Dust.’ It is now, and has been, under very exacting Satellite Surveillance (Space Force!). Nothing has been touched from the date of attack. We are, and will be, talking Tariff and Sanctions relief with Iran. Many of the 15 points have already been agreed to.”
A few minutes later, Trump threatened in a third statement that “A Country supplying Military Weapons to Iran will be immediately tariffed, on any and all goods sold to the United States of America, 50%, effective immediately. There will be no exclusions or exemptions!”
